just now in the shower
was seized by the realization agn
tt i am in a bad way now...

everything i do reeks
of a sense of worthlessness and pointlessness

floating over the world
as opposed to standing on solid ground.

this has alot to do wif how i am wif God n religion n all tt.
Cos for a fair amt of time, there is where i found my self-worth.
for now, i cannot access tt worth...

the pretence -
or rather, self-deception of daily life.

yes i think the most part i deceive myself tt everythin is alright.

but i am not fine.

on a lighter note,
i am reading Dances with Wolves by Michael Blake ...
watchd the movie some time back loved it...

pretty gd stuff but sad....

ciao for now guys...